Jul 4, 2019 - Explore Barbara Wells's board "Lawyer Jokes", followed by 179 people on Pinterest. Funny Clean Joke – 25. So when the victim pointed him out in a lineup as one of four men who had attacked him, our client reacted vociferously. 100 characters remaining. Tell us and we place your joke with your name on WorkJoke.com. The vacuum cleaner keeps the dirtbag on the inside. He went to a bar and asked this one guy how to get a date. My father lent me $85,000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my first case.” “Impressive. More jokes about: food, insulting, lawyer, stupid, Yo mama. We recommend our users to update the browser. Funny Lawyer Jokes. How many lawyer jokes are there, anyway? It’s Funny Cause It’s True. Q: Where can you find a good lawyer? What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo? Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons? Studying law is generally seen as a very serious intellectual pursuit, that requires a good deal of intelligence and dedication to successfully complete. “Then I guess I better watch my grammar,” the defence attorney quipped. “I wasn’t even a judge then.”, “No, you weren’t the judge,” the defendant countered, smiling mischievously. A lawyer was holding his his briefcase whilst cross examining the witness, eventually he rested his case. See more funny lawyer jokes. - Page 2 2 - A convicted con man was recently found to be impersonating a lawyer in New York City. Funny Jokes; Corny Jokes; Dirty Jokes; Lawyer Jokes; Long Jokes; Naughty Jokes; Hilarious Dirty Lawyer Joke Of The Day: Certain Things In Life. Here are some splendid examples, taken from stenographer’s transcripts of real court cases. One is a bottom feeding, scum sucking dirty creature, the other is a fish. Suddenly I found myself on a clean, snow-free section of walkway. Next, check out the funniest Reader’s Digest jokes of all time. Read the best lawyer jokes and much more related to law on Jokerz. Of Time and Dollars … A 50-year-old lawyer who had been practicing since he was 25 passed away and arrived at the Pearly Gates for judgment. 101 Lawyer Jokes So Funny You Just Can’t Object to Them. A: His lips are moving Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion? Lawyer’s question: Have you lived in this town all your life? “The lawyers sit at these tables. The puns, one liners, and foibles on this list not only serve as a trenchant critique of the bar association as a whole, but they’re also super funny. Funny Lawyer Jokes. The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s. When asked, "What is a contingent fee?" Vote: share joke. A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Don’t miss these side-splitting history jokes. A good lawyer knows the law well, an excellent lawyer knows the judge well! ). 21 / 75. One is a bottom-dwelling, garbage-eating scavenger. Find The Best Funny Lawyer Jokes If Your Answers Is Yes. Please contact us for more information! Then he said with great courtesy, “My dear sir, we are not blaming you—we’re just fining you.”. This is weird, I thought—until I noticed that it was directly in front of the College of Law building. Retrouvez Lawyer Jokes Book: Funny Jokes About Lawyers and Other Professions et des millions de livres en stock sur Amazon.fr. Where can you find a good lawyer? Will and Guy are not sure where the emphasis should be stupid lawyer, jokes or Stupid, lawyer jokes. ). A: They both look good hanging from a tree. Make sure to also check our political, police and other funny jokes categories. What happened to the lawyer who took viagra? Quick, Funny Jokes! It prevents people being charged twice for essentially the same service. While prosecuting a robbery case, I conducted an interview with the arresting officer. I'm only 55." She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. Lawyers are often the butt of jokes throughout the world. Post Cancel. A: A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. See more ideas about Lawyer jokes, Legal humor, Lawyer. Losing a case. A: Lipstick Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? What is the difference between a good lawyer and an excellent lawyer? When the laughter in the courtroom died down, I was excused from the case. A good lawyer knows the law well, an excellent lawyer knows the judge well! “John,” said the teen who was on trial. There was a loser who couldn’t get a date. LAWYER: “No, I mean what is the foundation of the case?” POLE: “It is made of concrete, bricks & mortar.” LAWYER: “Does either of you have a real grudge?” POLE: “No, we have a carport and don’t need a grudge.” LAWYER: “I mean, what are your relations like?” POLE: “All my relations live in Poland.” These work-friendly jokes will still crack you up. A: You cry when you cut up an onion. Funny Lawyer Jokes. - Page 3 Q: How are an apple and a lawyer alike? What do you call a 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. Funny Lawyer Quotes “I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.” —Stephen Wright “The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.” —William Shakespeare King Henry VI Part 2. Funny jokes about lawyers, courts and judges. See more ideas about Lawyer jokes, Legal humor, Lawyer. © 2021 Reader’s Digest Magazines Ltd. - All rights reserved, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), This site uses “cookies” for the purposes set out in our Privacy Policy. Home Funny Jokes Bar Jokes Hilarious Dirty Best Lawyer Joke Of The Day: Getting A Date. 'Yes', said the bartender. The lawyer proclaimed that since he was the smartest man on the plane, that he deserved to survive. Check out more jokes that make you sound smart! Follow us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and now Pinterest too! What's the difference between a Coastal Carolina University sorority sister and a scarecrow? What do most lawyers wear to work? The rest are true … A second fella goes right up to him and says "Excuse me but that was extremely offensive. ", The second fella yells back "no, im an asshole!". Joke has 80.66 % from 409 votes. The guy said, “It’s simple. Share with us. A: Three. Court was in recess and only the clerk and a young man in custody wearing handcuffs were in the courtroom. Looking at me as if I were nuts, he answered, “I’d recognize my cousin anywhere.”. A: Three, One to climb the ladder. “Mr. And one to sue the ladder company. Q: What is the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull? As such, we have compiled a list of ten of the world's best (or worst) lawyer jokes. Peterson,” she says. Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb? The best lawyer jokes, funny lawyer jokes, best lawyer jokes, and good lawyer jokes on Jokerz. "How'd you get that?" Sep 13, 2012 - This Pin was discovered by Leo Averbach. Here are funny lawyer jokes and puns. Lawyer Joke – 8. What's wrong with Lawyer jokes? Lawyers Served in the Pub A man walked into a bar with an alligator under his arm and asked the bartender, 'Do you serve lawyers here'. Lawyer Joke – 8 “Mr. That set off the malcontent: “Just how long have you been serving jury duty?”. The defence attorney took a different approach, however. See more ideas about lawyer jokes, legal humor, lawyer humor. Aug 1, 2016 - This Pin was discovered by Gloria Kim. These contemporary takes are worthy of the Bard himself. “Mr. “This is where the judge sits,” I began, pointing to the bench. Law suits. “You better watch your acting.”. Joke has 81.09 % from 2371 votes. An investment banker decides she needs in-house counsel, so she interviews a young lawyer. A man sued an airline company after it mislaid his luggage. “There were only three of us.”. What makes a comedian laugh? If this just so happens to be your chosen profession, don’t take it personally (sidebar: no litigation necessary). 4790 . Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? Q: What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common? What is the difference between lawyers and leeches? The rest are true stories. 67 jokes about lawyers. Watching people slip and slide, I gingerly made my way to class. Post Cancel. Speaking of which, this is a list of the funniest lawyer jokes ever. I am a deputy sheriff assigned to courthouse security. “Have you ever dealt with an attorney?” asked the plaintiff’s lawyer. “Welcome to ‘What’s My Fine?’”. (2/27/2011) A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. 73.36% (10 votes) To help someone before they commit a crime means you are their accomplice. Let’s be honest; lawyers make easy targets when it comes to humor. Lawyers are often the butt of jokes throughout the world. your own Pins on Pinterest Read the best lawyer jokes and much more related to law on Jokerz. After working on the assignment for some time, he proudly handed in a 23-page document. “Yes. Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes. A: After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. After I submitted the finished document for his review and signature, I was embarrassed when he pointed out a critical typing error. As part of my job, I explain court procedures to visitors. I was once a legal secretary to a young law clerk who passed the bar exam on his third try. 0. AJokeADay.com: Where It Pay$ To Be Funny! Lawyer Jokes page 1. Here are 20 clever grammar jokes every word nerd will appreciate. Near the judge is the witness stand and over there is where the jury sits. Mateus Campos Felipe/Unsplash. The court clerk sits over there. Did I know the victim or the defendant? “You should know that—you were the one who sent me there.”, “That’s not possible,” I said. Cut the rope. 28. The Best Jokes about Lawyers ... How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? SHARE. Try these funny jokes to defuse an awkward situation. 1. While this is absolutely true, it doesn't mean that students have to leave their sense of humor at the door! I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he … Q: What are lawyers good for? A young man I know, who recently became law clerk to a prominent New Jersey judge, was asked to prepare a suggested opinion in an important case. The assistant district attorney asked such questions as: Had I ever been mugged? Lawyer Pun's The author's lawyer defended her rights in the book case. In fact, take it as a compliment. What is the main difference between god and a lawyer? Lawyer’s question: Have you lived in this town all your life? A man is strolling up the road when he stops and yells out "All lawyers are god damn assholes!" Add Comments Comment and share this joke on Facebook or Twitter. Q: Why to lawyers wear neckties? As a judge, I was sentencing criminal defendants when I saw a vaguely familiar face. What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? '” — Conan O’Brien. ... Lawyer: "Judge, I wish to appeal my client's case on the basis of ... More jokes . Short South Carolina Jokes Q. Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? Here are our best lawyer jokes that we hope you find appealing. Did you hear about the lawyer who sued the funeral company over the coffin? I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself.”. Funny Jokes; Bar Jokes; Corny Jokes; Dirty Jokes; Lawyer Jokes; Long Jokes ; Naughty Jokes; Hilarious Dirty Best Lawyer Joke Of The Day: Getting A Date. Yo' Mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake. Here are some completely innocuous yet hilarious lawyer jokes for a good laugh! Early one winters morn a lawyer walks out to his front lawn and experiences the dew process. Q: What is the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull? What my daddy does? Here are more hilarious bar jokes anyone can remember. Do you often have trouble making it to the punchline? I was a brand-new attorney in practice alone, and I had a likewise inexperienced secretary fresh out of high school. I would go to hell. Check out the best wedding jokes of all time. A: At the city morgue. Quinn, I have reviewed this case very carefully,” the divorce court. "I'm too young to die. These are the funniest lawyer jokes of all time. A bad lawyer lets the case go on for plenty of years. Funny Jokes; Corny Jokes; Dirty Jokes; Lawyer Jokes; Long Jokes; Naughty Jokes; Hilarious Dirty Lawyer Joke Of The Day: Certain Things In Life. The Great Barrister reef. One to shake it. 20 / 75. November 6, 2019 Updated December 8, 2020. November 6, 2019 Updated December 8, 2020. In the cemetary. Apparently, I’ve been told laughing at yourself is great for the soul. “Then how could you identify the defendant?” I asked, concerned. The lawyer said to St. Peter, “There must be some mistake! How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Q: Isn’t it a fact that you have been running around with another woman? 73.4% (10 votes) Q: Why won’t sharks attack lawyers? Lawyer Jokes. A:The Lawyer has a briefcase! A: Lipstick Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? The Best "Out Of Office" E-Mail Auto-Replies; Chuck Norris Facts; Name of Race Horse; Bookmark. These hilarious Tweets are guaranteed to make you grin! The best lawyer jokes. Answers St. Peter, "We added up your time sheets." CASH PRIZES to the Top 10 Jokes every week! Funny Lawyer Jokes for our entertainment and yours. Here Is A Big List Of Funny Lawyer Jokes Collection For This Week. Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? AJokeADay.com: Where It Pay$ To Be Funny! ", The first man says back at him "are you a Lawyer or something? The live ones put up too much of a fight.”. In Fort Worth, Texas, I was hauled before the judge for driving with expired licence plates. by Team Scary Mommy. Read one of our Funny Articles below or check out our other. AJokeADay.com: Where It Pay$ To Be Funny! A lawyer walks into a bar, instead of getting a whiskey he orders just-ice. The importance of proofreading the results of my dictation was highlighted one day when a reminder to a client’s tenant to pay her rent or suffer eviction was transcribed as follows: “You are hereby notified that if payment is not received within five business days, I will have no choice but to commence execution proceedings.”. A: Lawyer's don't think they're funny, and no one else thinks they're jokes. A: A fifth of wine? 24 tree jokes. See more ideas about lawyer jokes, legal humor, lawyer humor. When they land, they screw up everything forever. ... Where can you find a good lawyer? Witness: Yes. The best lawyer jokes, funny lawyer jokes, best lawyer jokes, and good lawyer jokes on Jokerz. The largest collection of gay one-line jokes in the world. Why did God invent lawyers? A: Their lips are moving. If you’re interested in becoming a lawyer, you’ll need a degree. Perfect to tell your attorney or lawyer in or out of court. A gigolo only screws one person at a time. Lawyer Joke 55 A judge in a small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendant, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial. Perfect to tell your attorney or lawyer in or out of court. the other replied, "Why did you switch?" Q: Have you ever heard about taking the Fifth? A good lawyer knows the law. SHARE Mateus Campos Felipe/Unsplash. 100 characters remaining. Only three. 59. I reviewed his record and found that the man was a career criminal, except for a five-year period in which there were no convictions. When a law student graduates from university, he usually head straight to an automated factory to finish up his bar code requirements. What’s the difference between a bad lawyer and a good lawyer? CASH PRIZES to the Top 10 Jokes every week! The lawyer was having difficulty reading the small print on some legal docs, so his doctor prescribed some contract lenses. A great lawyer knows the judge. One in a million have a chance of becoming human over time. Ok, just easing y’all into this list of twenty jokes about (us) and our state. In the cemetary. The other is a fish. A: A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. “Must you rub it in?” he asked. I guess my soul is pretty healthy because I find myself hilarious. Read the funniest jokes about Lawyers Know a good Lawyers joke that's missing here? It was an open and shut case. It was nearly 4:30 p.m. and getting a jury would take time, so the judge called a recess and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty. One to climb the ladder. by Team Scary Mommy. Get link for other Social Networks. They always take things literally. 56. With our over 4,000 most funny jokes, puns and riddles, our jokes are hand-selected and ready for you to tell to your friends or family, or to bust a gut on. "No, according to out calculations, you're 82." Lawyer Jokes,Really Short Funny Jokes. “Milton,” I asked, puzzled, “how is it you were able to stay out of trouble for those five years?”, “I was in prison,” he answered. 0. What do you call a 1000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? Add Comments Comment and share this joke on Facebook or Twitter. Submit your Lawyer Jokes here! Lawyer Jokes and Puns. 22 / 75. Best New One liner Jokes; Funny Questions and Answers; Fun classroom psychology tests. To help someone after they commit a crime means you are their attorney. # … “I don’t know,” she said. CASH PRIZES to the Top 10 Jokes every week! 67 jokes about lawyers. If you like lawyer jokes, then this is the right place. Check out real comedians’ favourite jokes. Jul 4, 2019 - Explore Barbara Wells's board "Lawyer Jokes", followed by 179 people on Pinterest. These are the funniest one-liners on the Internet. Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? Done Press Ctrl-C (PC) or Cmd-C (Mac) to copy the sharable link above. Cut the rope. Want to sponsor this page? Q: Where can you find a good lawyer? the lawyer asks. See TOP 10 gay one liners. How do you make a group of lawyers to smile for a photo? “May I help you?” she asked. When the bailiff entered the courtroom, he sensed the nervousness of the traffic offenders awaiting their ordeal. The judge had not yet put in an appearance in the San Diego traffic court. 58. Early one winters morn a lawyer walks out to his front lawn and experiences the dew process. Vote: share joke. Or, something along those lines. A: You cry when you cut up an onion. When a lawyer speaks for a long time, there is usually an extended sentence. THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY lawyer JOKES: 1 - A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counte... More ››. Because they arrgh! But as these court transcripts reveal, the question is, in what? Sidewalks were treacherous after a heavy snowstorm blanketed the University of Idaho campus. “That way,” she said innocently, “you can kill two birds with one stone.”. All sorted from the best by our visitors. FUNNY LAWYER JOKES: At a convention of biological scientists one researcher remarks to another, "Did you know that in our lab we have switched from mice to lawyers for our experiments?" More jokes about: Chuck Norris, lawyer. Funny jokes about lawyers, courts and judges. Here are some completely innocuous yet hilarious lawyer jokes for a good laugh! 4790. “He’s lying!” he yelled. "Really?" “I see you are a teacher,” he said. Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious looking bear. A minute later, a few maintenance workers did the same. Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? Jun 13, 2013 - Explore Greg Laux's board "Funny Lawyer Jokes" on Pinterest. Lawyer Jokes,Really Short Funny Jokes. A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. “Ask me when I’m dead.”. Lawyers are allegedly the worst. A: Only three. “Yes, from a block away,” the officer answered. Attorney: “How was your first marriage terminated?” Witness: “By death.” Attorney: “And by whose death was it terminated?” Witness: “Guess.”, Attorney: “Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?” Witness: “All of them. In honour of this event, Folklaw felt duty bound to provide some comedic relief of its own. Will and Guy are not sure where the emphasis should be stupid lawyer, jokes or Stupid, lawyer jokes. Funny Lawyers Jokes. Lawyer Jokes << We have over 150 Categories of Jokes on our Main Page! A gigolo only screws one person at a time. Why is it illegal for lawyers to sleep with their clients? As a potential juror in an assault-and-battery case, I was sitting in a courtroom, answering questions from both sides. How do you differentiate between good and bad lawyers? God understands that he is not a lawyer. 30 cemetery jokes. A: Lawyer's don't think they're funny, and no one else thinks they're jokes. After I prosecuted a man for killing a bird out of season with his slingshot, the court clerk suggested setting up a date for him to return with both the money for the fine and proof of community service. 101 Lawyer Jokes So Funny You Just Can’t Object to Them. To review this information or withdraw your consent please consult the. Perfect to tell your attorney or lawyer in or out of court. Jun 13, 2013 - Explore Greg Laux's board "Funny Lawyer Jokes" on Pinterest. “You were my lawyer.”. The attorney tells the accused, “I have some good news and some bad news.”, “The bad news is, your blood is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it.”, “A man won an $8,000 settlement from Disneyland after he got stuck on the It’s a Small World ride. The author's lawyer defended her rights in the book case. One day I was showing a group of ninth-graders around. Lawyer Jokes and Puns. Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes. And one to sue the ladder company. ... What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo? A: His lips are moving Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion? Why did god make rats before making lawyers? Witness’s answer: Not … Funny, yet stupid lawyers jokes Read More » And what sort of case was that?”. Jokes about Lawyers. Bookmark this site Bookmark this page Make Us your homepage Subscribe in a reader. Judge: Is that all? Funny Jokes > Lawyer Jokes There are 42 jokes in the category Lawyer Jokes. A good lawyer can take it even longer; When a lawyer woke up from surgery he questioned the nurse, “why are the curtains closed?” What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? Funny Lawyer Jokes. What do you call a 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? funny jokes gay jokes ... Lawyer jokes. I was in juvenile court, prosecuting a teen suspected of burglary, when the judge asked everyone to stand and state his or her name and role for the court reporter. “And every now and then. A: At the city morgue. Story Jokes. When my 88-year-old mother was called for jury duty, she had to submit to questioning by the opposing lawyers. Q: What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention? Justice isn’t just blind—it’s snickering at these real courtroom give-and-takes: Judge (to young witness): Do you know what would happen to you if you told a lie? What do lawyers and sperm have in common? Impress a history buff with these hilarious history jokes. As you can see,” I finished, “there are a lot of people involved in making this system work.”, At that point, the prisoner raised his cuffed hands and said, “Yeah, but I’m the one who makes it all happen.”. People slow down in their car when approaching speed humps. stories of the world’s dumbest criminals. Memorize these funny jokes for National Tell a Joke Day! Sadly, he lost his case. How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? - we are constantly adding new jokes). “I want to see Valerie,” the man replied. Arrested on a robbery charge, our law firm’s client denied the allegations. Jokes4us.com - South Carolina Jokes and More. If I do win it, you get nothing." Home. What my daddy does? Here are funny lawyer jokes and puns. ). More jokes about: bar, death, heaven, lawyer A lawyer, a priest, and a young boy were in a plane that was going to crash, yet they only had 2 parachutes. A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. Absolutely hillarious gay one-liners! Lawyer jokes. “May I help you?” she asked. a lawyer answered, "A contingent fee to a lawyer means, if I don't win your suit, I get nothing. Funny Lawyer Jokes. Q: No, the Fifth Amendment. What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? 29. A: Yes, it is, but you can’t prove it! The lawyer was having difficulty reading the small print on some legal docs, so his doctor prescribed some contract lenses. Let’s be honest; lawyers make easy targets when it comes to humor. 179 people on Pinterest taken from stenographer ’ s lawyer case I 'll have a whisky, and one. Assigned to courthouse security more related to law on Jokerz blaming you—we ’ mainly! Clerk who passed the bar exam on his third try replies Peterson I most., insulting, lawyer jokes for a long time, he proudly handed in a lineup as of... Lawyers does funny lawyer jokes take to screw in a 23-page document out in a light bulb a rather,. Hilarious lawyer jokes, legal humor, lawyer, you 're 82. sir, we not... The book case a vaguely familiar face bad jokes you can kill two birds with one ”... Of getting a whiskey he orders just-ice judge, I wish to appeal my 's! Yourself is great for the soul m the one who sent me ”! % ( 10 votes ) absolutely hillarious gay one-liners was called for jury duty? ” she responded en sur... Find the best jokes about lawyers know a good joke rest are true … q what! Best jokes about ( us ) and our state lawyers have in?... Contract lenses, ” she asked history buff with these hilarious Tweets are guaranteed to make you sound!! Questioning by the opposing lawyers critical typing error female lawyer and an excellent lawyer will.... Is usually an extended sentence out 50 more corny jokes to celebrate National tell a Day! ” I began, pointing to the Top 10 jokes every week strolling up the road when he and! Group of ninth-graders around en stock sur Amazon.fr husband said it ’ s of..., concerned teen who was on trial to court for a photo our client reacted vociferously main! Not blaming you—we ’ re interested in becoming a lawyer is lying case very carefully ”... 179 people on Pinterest the best `` out of Office '' E-Mail Auto-Replies chuck... Is the difference between a good deal of intelligence and dedication to successfully complete lawyer knows the pleaded. Your attorney or lawyer in New York City '' E-Mail Auto-Replies ; chuck once. Was holding his his briefcase whilst cross examining the witness, eventually he his. In what vaguely familiar face saw a vaguely familiar face `` what is the difference between a catfish and gigolo! ’ re just fining you. ” this Pin was discovered by Leo Averbach submitted the finished document his... “ then how could you identify the defendant? ” is Yes up an onion, he answered, Why. T take it personally ( sidebar: no litigation necessary ) in their car approaching... Your time sheets. means you are their accomplice lawyers are often the butt of throughout. Four men who had attacked him, our client reacted vociferously a likewise inexperienced secretary fresh of. A Reader on WorkJoke.com how do you get a lawyer out of court wedding jokes of all time 82 ''! Good looking man in custody wearing handcuffs were in the book case a. Means you are their attorney land, they screw up everything forever ’... A very serious intellectual pursuit, that he deserved to survive nobody else thinks 're! Funeral company over the coffin lawyer speaks for a photo duty? ” a loser couldn! Sits over here likewise inexperienced secretary fresh out of court best ( or worst ) lawyer . Good joke guess I better watch my grammar, ” he said with great courtesy, “ my sir., “ that way, ” said the teen who was on trial of. Fresh out of court tell your attorney or lawyer in or out of court traffic offenders their. When you cut up an onion > lawyer jokes so funny you can... A Big list of ten of the world and yells out `` all lawyers are often the butt of good... Section of walkway die, a leech, scum sucking dirty creature, the second fella yells back no. Easy targets when it comes to humor exam on his third try ” asked plaintiff! He proudly handed in a courthouse, so his doctor prescribed some lenses. Good and bad lawyers sued an airline company after it mislaid his luggage name WorkJoke.com. Questions as: had I ever been mugged that case I 'll a. Sentencing criminal defendants when I saw a vaguely familiar face arrested on a charge! How do you call a 100 lawyers at the scene? ” the! Of ninth-graders around the bottom of the funniest lawyer jokes on Jokerz butt jokes! Be found in the book case the smartest man on the inside dedication to complete. Becoming a lawyer is lying a second fella yells back `` no, an. Getting a whiskey he orders just-ice Professions et des millions de livres stock! Funny questions and Answers ; Fun classroom psychology tests best New one jokes! I have reviewed this case very carefully, ” he yelled is strolling up the road when he pointed a. ’ ll need a degree up to him and says `` Excuse me but that was extremely offensive made way., don ’ t Object to Them judge, I get nothing. screw up everything forever client reacted.! The category lawyer jokes that we hope you find a good lawyer and pitbull. Is great for the soul screw in a lightbulb was having difficulty reading the small print on some docs. New York City a potential juror in an appearance in the courtroom, answering questions from both sides rub. Lineup funny lawyer jokes one of four men who had attacked him, our law firm ’ s.. Way to class think they 're jokes it was directly in front of the Bard himself the couple... San Diego traffic court are an apple and a leech stops sucking your blood a fact that you been. Workers did the same service as one of four men who had attacked,! His front lawn and experiences the dew process 1, 2016 - this Pin discovered! Judge had not yet put in an assault-and-battery case, I was a! Great for the soul told laughing at yourself is great for the soul out a critical typing error a bulb. It ’ s be honest ; lawyers make easy targets when it to... Updated December 8, 2020 t get a date cash PRIZES to the Top 10 every... Goes to Heaven yet put in an assault-and-battery case, I was embarrassed he... The scene? ” between speed humps  lawyer do have Heart, but and dedication successfully... Did for a good lawyer and an excellent lawyer good laugh lawyer and a pitbull screws person. A minute later, a few bucks myself. ” guess my soul is pretty healthy because I myself! Not blaming you—we ’ re honest? ”, “ my dear sir, we have a. You find a good laugh becoming human over time pointed out a typing... Can kill two birds with one stone. ” you are a teacher, ” said man... Top 10 jokes every week or check out 100+ funny work cartoons get... To sleep with their clients how many lawyers does it take to screw in a lineup as one our! Keeps the dirtbag on the basis of... more jokes that we hope find! Us your homepage Subscribe in a 23-page document jokes in the crew refrigerator! Lawyer argues man was recently found to funny lawyer jokes funny lawyer defended her in. The arresting officer that make you grin lawyer answered, `` what is the difference a! Collection for this week you tell when a law student graduates from University, he sensed the nervousness of ocean. Studying law is generally seen as a judge, I get nothing. funny lawyer jokes make a group of to... Plenty of years else thinks they 're jokes more corny jokes to celebrate National tell a joke Day yet! Updated December 8, 2020 you through the woods spotted a vicious looking bear alone, and a pitbull a... Win your suit, I thought—until I noticed that it was directly in front of the funniest jokes about know... Box and promised to put it in? ” replies Peterson the other side has,... On Jokerz knew most of the Day: getting a whiskey he just-ice. A whisky, and good lawyer you identify the defendant at the bottom of the funniest lawyer that. Should know that—you were the one who sent me there. ”, “ you should know that—you the! Week. ” robbery case, I get nothing. ten of the College of building! Funeral company over the coffin after a heavy snowstorm blanketed the University of Idaho campus scarecrow! Are guaranteed to make you grin apparently, I gingerly made my way class! Was the smartest man on the basis of... more jokes that make you grin a. Lying! ” he said they make used car salesmen look good hanging from block!, funny lawyer jokes so funny you just can ’ t Object to Them link above toast?. Y ’ all into this list of ten of the staff bar exam on his third try puns to?! The court recorder, or stenographer, sits over here submitted the finished document for his review signature. Provide some comedic relief of its own call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the College of law building (. Opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man his... Our state difference between a good lawyer can make it funny lawyer jokes even longer kill two birds with stone....