Experts say that Deborah's worry is more and more common. “Don’t Know What You’ve Got Till It’s Gone: In a live chat, Dear Prudence advises a man who cheated and is so afraid his wife will leave that he stalks her every move.” Posted April 9, 2012. You’ve run out of free articles. My ex-girlfriend and I had talked about possibly adopting a child, but unfortunately that relationship broke up. What do I say? I think you should cultivate a Mona Lisa look—mysterious, enigmatic, and above it all. I lost a lot of teeth to decay, including my two front teeth. We have had some difficult conversations but the long and short of it is we're OK now. And you'll never see this message again. What should I do?” Posted April 5, 2012. I am the adoptive parent of three children. He hasn’t grown up enough to understand the gross breaches she’s committed. I find them talking loudly about dentists and how they’re having their teeth fixed in front of me, giving me sly looks as they do. And realize, too, that sometimes the best thing you can do is to just stay out of it. I've moved on and am dating someone with whom I plan to adopt. All my toiletries had either been replaced or rearranged, including my medicine cabinet. The thought of you giving SS a warts and all view of your past relationship might make him back off. In terms of my ex, it's a long story. We recently were away for the weekend and I let my boyfriend give our keys to his mother so she could hang a photo for us that she had reframed. I am a young woman who recently married a very successful athlete. Submit your questions and comments here before or during the live discussion. Yes if your girlfriend does not have to file a return because she earned less than 3900.00 in earned income and she is the sole physical custody parent of the children and their father does not have a court order saying he can claim them, provided she and the children lived with you the entire 12 months of the year and you provided 50% or more of the support for them you can absolutely claim them! However, I still want to adopt. How many people are on good terms with a ex? The government guidance says: "Where parents do not live in the same household, children under 18 can be moved between their parents' homes." Dear Prudie, I think you should speak the truth in the interests of any possible children that may be adopted. Don't let a kid suffer by getting him or not getting him as a dad! Dear Front, Upstairs there were new pictures over the bed and new towels. As this article about poverty in American notes, missing teeth can keep the working poor from getting the kind of work that will carry them into the middle class. My husband has always been supportive of this, but recently he brought up an interesting proposition. I don't think so as you said 8 years is really to long i could understand if he had had a few partners in the past 36 months but 8 years is just too long for you to make a statement on him now. If you’d like to join in, please sign in or register. My laundry had been done, with my underwear and bras folded in my drawer. People change. I feel completely violated. My ex-girlfriend and I had talked about possibly adopting a child, but unfortunately that relationship broke up. “Daddy Dearest: My husband is wonderful, but he rages at our kids. Meanwhile, I learned that he and his partner have a child -- born by surrogate, probably biologically linked to one of them. Dear Prudence, After we got back on our feet, I went to the dentist only to find out that it was going to cost me $7,000 up front to get dentures and a bridge. Or you may find yourself trying to adopt alone. My ex\'s once told me that she was a better mother to my son than I was. When we applied to adopt, my parents, in laws, and our siblings were all interviewed to establish what there views were on us as a couple as well as the Social Worker trying to establish what type of extended family an adopted child would have. I can see why you wouldn't want to be involved in this. Am I being selfish to say she should find another sperm donor? He's the only father they've known and I can't think of anyone better to be in their lives but if he did I'd have to adopt them as well. Slate relies on advertising to support our journalism. Advertisement. After all, he's applying to be a parent to a child, & I know I wouldn't want to later find out that a child was put in his care & had a difficult life because of a current drinking habit, a child that wouldn't have been placed there if your ex's drinking habits hadn't changed & had been known to have gone back several years. My boyfriend of three years and I are in our late 20s and we recently moved into a modest house together in the same town as his parents. Don’t bother asking for your keys back—surely she’s already made copies, “just in case.” Tell your boyfriend you’re getting your locks changed and that there also needs to be a change in what’s considered acceptable by his mother. Should I mention it to my company or ignore it? “Double Helping of Hate: In a live chat, Prudie advises a mother hit by an anti-adoption remark—that’s also implicitly racist.” Posted April 30, 2012. If you are the primary caregiver for your grandchild, it may be important to establish some kind of legal relationship. I’m a computer programmer, and my question is how do I deal with the judgments of my co-workers? There may be more economical ways to replace your teeth. Dear Prudence, His ex-wife, who is older than me and has never remarried, asked him to be a sperm donor. I'm having to apply to the courts for a contact order so that my children can stay with me on alternate weekends. A few days ago I caught my Muslim co-worker sneaking some bites of an orange. Had an interesting phone call from mother today. My co-parent, his wife, my husband and I are doing everything we can to help our daughter deal with her emotions, fears and frustrations. http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/Adoptionfosteringandchildrenincare/index.htm?cids=MSN_PPC&cre=Parents, http://www.adoption.org.uk/information/adoption_law.html. Also, Joolsb, I take it they get to know what I've said if I do talk to Social Services? My ex-husband and I have been divorced for about 10 years and were separated for several years before that. Please send your questions for publication to prudence@slate.com. It’s a shame that until moving in with you, your boyfriend spent all his adult life with this prying, overbearing mother and apparently thought it was fine. In your case I think you should go for a moat stocked with piranhas and a team of Dobermans. Does it matter?” Posted April 19, 2012. Get Dear Prudence delivered to your inbox each week; click here to sign up. If you don't, the child's parent can take the child from you at any time. That’s not exactly taking it easy, and your workplace and client are rightly accommodating the needs of this adherent. To mix theological metaphors, you are not the Grand Inquisitor, and if you start reporting that your Muslim colleague fell upon some citrus sustenance during the Ramadan fast, you’re the one who may suffer a career auto-da-fé. So that my children can stay with me on alternate weekends dear Prudie, a few years if do... Fire under him? ” Posted March 29, 2012 bedside table and all view of your past relationship make! Thinking about the marriage/divorce angle of an orange I know this seems nice, but there absolutely! Organizations working with needy kids head then great - that will be to... 'S once told me that she was a rough patch for us, when we sometimes had to between... No money for dentists two younger sisters look up to her as a kind of time capsule had... Medicine cabinet record of birth, adoption decree, or paying hospital bills a contact so... View of your past relationship might make him back off and tons of money, so I agree with instincts! 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